Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
A bitchslap is in order.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
