um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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