remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
