Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
