So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My first STD was from a foam party
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
