Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
