the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
