What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
