What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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