Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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