I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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