Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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