Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
