careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize