I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
