Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
