My first STD was from a foam party
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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