Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize