I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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