Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
