My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
