i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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