He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
