YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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