My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
