Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I believe in your delicious
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
