The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
