I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize