This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I cannot find my penis.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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