The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
