so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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