I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize