your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
