...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
