Whats the glycemic index on semen?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
