Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
