I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
