In the future we'll all be gay
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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