Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
