today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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