OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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