I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize