I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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