when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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