It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
