She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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