Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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