He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
