I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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