Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
