mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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