In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
