why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
