thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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