I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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