saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
