I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
