Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
