wanna go halves on a baby?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
