summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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