Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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