I think my vagina is haunted
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
