Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize