grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize