I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize