Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
