You can't motorboat a personality
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize